It was one of those regular days, the kind where you’re just running an errand and expecting nothing more than the usual. I was strolling downtown, on my way to grab a coffee when who do I see but Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS standing at the corner, looking like he had something heavy on his mind. I almost did a double-take, but then again, I had to remind myself that in my line of work, you meet all sorts of people.
Gibbs caught my eye, and before I could say anything, he walked right over, that familiar stern expression on his face. "Bruce," he said in that gruff tone of his, "I’ve been meaning to talk to you." Now, when a guy like Gibbs says that you pause. "Sure thing, Gibbs. What’s on your mind?" I asked, half-wondering if this was going to lead to some covert ops or if he was just taking a break from catching the bad guys.
"I’ve been working on a couple of tough cases recently," he said, his voice softer now, "and they’ve been getting in my head. Negative thoughts, doubts… It’s not like me, but it’s been dragging me down. I know you wrote that book, ‘53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior, and they are great at helping us keep troubles at bay or getting out of troubles.’ And recently I could use a little help keeping those negative thoughts from spiraling."
Now, you might think a guy like Gibbs has everything under control, but we’re all human, right? I knew exactly what he meant, especially with the way depression can sneak up and take over if you’re not careful. "You’re in the right place, Gibbs," I said, smiling. "I’ve been there, dealing with Bipolar, Alcoholism, Anxiety Disorders, PTSD—plus everyday life challenges. And one rule from the book that’s been a game-changer for me is Mindset Rule 6: ‘Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing the Things You Know Now.’"
Gibbs nodded, his piercing blue eyes locked on me. "I like the sound of that. Tell me more."
"Well, it’s pretty straightforward," I began, "but powerful. Let me give you three examples of how I use it to stop negative thinking in its tracks."
Example 1: Don’t Let Past Missteps Downplay Today’s Success
"The first thing this rule does for me is remind me not to downplay my successes today because of the missteps of the past," I said. "It’s easy to let last week’s screw-ups mess with how we feel about what we accomplish today. But this rule helps me see my wins for what they are, without letting my past mistakes steal their thunder."
Gibbs Takeaway:
Gibbs rubbed his chin, thinking it over. "I get that. Just last week, we lost a lead on a case, and it’s been bugging me. Yesterday, we cracked the case, but all I could think about was that missed opportunity. I was beating myself up over something that doesn’t matter now. But you’re right—focusing on yesterday’s misstep was ruining today’s win."
"Exactly," I said. "Celebrate today’s win. The past is just that—the past."
Example 2: Turn Missteps into Lessons for Today’s Wins
"Second," I continued, "this rule reminds me that today’s wins are the results of what I learned from my past missteps. Today, I’m taking in those wins as proof that I’m living differently as a Mental Health Warrior. I’m in charge now, not my challenges."
Gibbs Takeaway:
Gibbs crossed his arms and gave me a nod. "I see. So, instead of beating myself up over what went wrong, I could look at how it made me sharper today. There’s always something to learn, even from mistakes. Like that time, we walked into an ambush. I was mad at myself for not seeing it coming, but afterward, we changed how we approached those situations, and it’s saved us more than once."
"That’s exactly it," I said. "Use those lessons to your advantage. Every challenge teaches us something we need for the next one."
Example 3: Focus on Taking Action Today
"And lastly," I said, "this rule helps me focus on today. Depression usually sneaks in when I stop focusing on what I can do right now and start dwelling on the past. This rule is my reminder to stay in the present and use today to take action. If I’ve slacked off on my Mental Health Warrior tools, this is the wake-up call to get back on track."
Gibbs Takeaway:
Gibbs grinned for the first time in our conversation. "That’s good. I’ve noticed when I start letting the past get to me, I stop being as sharp. But if I keep my focus on what I can control today, I stay in the game."
"Exactly," I said. "When we’re focused on today, we’re in control. Depression can’t take over if we’re actively working to be our best right now. It’s all about interrupting that negative thinking and getting back into action."
Time to Jump Back into Life
Gibbs looked at me with that no-nonsense look of his, the kind that tells you he’s really paying attention. "You’ve given me something to work with here and I will have to get myself a copy of your book “53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior”. I’ve been letting my mind spin, but if I can remind myself of this rule—especially when I feel those doubts creeping in—it’ll stop me from going down that rabbit hole. I can forgive myself for what I didn’t know then and focus on what I can do now. That’s where the power is!"
We both stood up, realizing it was time to get back to work. "We better get back to it, huh?" I said. "Because this talk reminded us to use Mindset Rule 6: ‘Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing the Things You Know Now,’ every day to keep those negative thoughts out of our lives."
Gibbs gave a rare chuckle. "You’re right. Maybe we’ll grab that coffee later this week. It’s good to talk with a fellow Mental Health Warrior. It helps remind me that we’ve all got our battles—and we can win them." As he turned to leave, Gibbs gave me a parting line only he could deliver.
'Oh, and Bruce, next time you see me thinking too hard—just smack me upside the head, will ya?' I could only say, 'Wow,' feeling a mix of amusement and a little fear about actually following through with a head slap. Instead, I promised to remind him of the power of Mindset Rule 6 to stop negative thinking!"
Bruce Schutter
Creator of Mental Health Warrior Program and Challenge Coin
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