It was a regular day, the kind of day where you don’t expect to run into a war hero, let alone the John Rambo, out and about doing something as mundane as grocery shopping. But there he was—yes, that John Rambo—the guy known for single-handedly taking down entire armies, now casually pushing a shopping cart down the cereal aisle. You know, no big deal.
I did a double-take because, honestly, you don’t expect Rambo to have a shopping list. Maybe a survival knife or a bow and arrow, but definitely not a list for eggs, bread, and milk. But today, Rambo wasn’t here to attack the town—nope, he was here to shop and do something even more important: talk about mental health!
"Rambo!" I called out, a little unsure how he’d respond. “How’s it going?” He gave me a nod, and I half expected him to pull out a war story, but instead, he smiled—an unexpected but pleasant surprise. "Bruce, I heard about your Mental Health Warrior Program," he said, shifting the grocery basket into his other hand. “I’m really trying to leave the whole ‘attacking the town’ thing behind and I could use your help.” “Yeah, I know how hard it is to move past the past” I replied.
“There’s a lot of shame in it, you know? I mean, look at me—20 years of wreckage from Bipolar Disorder, Alcoholism, Anxiety, and PTSD. And it got so bad, I thought there was no way out. But when I got that second chance at life, I realized mental health was the key to triumphing over my challenges, so I created the Mental Health Warrior Program to help others do the same.”
Rambo nodded. “I get it, man. I’ve been there too—letting shame eat me alive. But the more I’ve been working on it, the more I see that it’s possible to move forward.”
“That’s right,” I said. “And a big part of moving forward was learning to let go of the past while owning it. From my book “53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior” I use Mindset Rule 15—‘Build the New You on All of Your Story, Not Just the Good Stuff.’
That rule changed everything for me. You can’t just hide the tough stuff and only show the shiny parts of your life. It’s all part of who you are, and it’s how you build the new you.”
Rambo raised an eyebrow. “I like that. So how do you use it?” “Funny you should ask,” I said with a grin. “Let me give you a few examples.”
Example 1: Embrace the Messy Parts of the Journey
I used to think I should only share the good things—the successes, the accomplishments. You know, the parts where I looked like I had it all together. But when I kept the messy parts—the Bipolar meltdowns, the panic attacks, the nights I drowned my anxiety in alcohol—to myself, I was actually shutting people out. It made it hard to connect with anyone on a real level because I was trying to present this perfect version of me.
When I finally started sharing my struggles, the mistakes I made, and the dark moments, I noticed that people didn’t push away. They leaned in. Sharing my whole story gave them permission to open up too, and suddenly, conversations became deeper and more meaningful. It was like a two-way street instead of a one-way highway.
Rambo’s Takeaway:
Rambo nodded. “I get that. I spent years just being the guy who ‘does the job’ and keeps everything inside. But lately, I’ve started telling my story—the whole thing. Even the parts where I’ve messed up. It’s been… different. People don’t see me as just this killing machine anymore. They see the real me. It’s uncomfortable, sure, but it’s also freeing. It feels like I'm not fighting alone anymore.”
Example 2: Your Struggles Are What Make Your Successes Real
Another way I use this rule is by recognizing that today’s successes are only possible because of yesterday’s missteps. I used to beat myself up for every mistake I made—whether it was a relapse, a moment of losing control, or just feeling like a failure. But then I realized: those moments are why I am where I am today. If I hadn’t struggled, I wouldn’t have learned the lessons that helped me triumph.
It’s like building a house—you can’t just build the roof and say, “Hey, look, success!” You need the foundation, the walls, the support beams. And a lot of that comes from your struggles. Today, I use the warrior tools I’ve gained through my experiences, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
Rambo’s Takeaway:
Rambo thought for a moment. “That’s like when I started trying to live a normal life after the war. I felt like I failed every time I tried. But you’re right—those failures taught me what I needed to know. Every time I’ve stumbled, I learned something new. Now, when I get up and keep moving, I feel stronger because I know what it’s like to be down. I can appreciate the fight it takes to stay on top.”
Example 3: The Power of Being Present
The third way I use this rule is to stay present in my life today, not stuck in the past. One of the biggest reasons I used to let depression creep in was because I’d spend too much time dwelling on my old mistakes. I’d lose focus on what I could do today to improve my mental health. Every day is a chance to be a warrior. I get up, I use my tools, and I can keep moving forward.
If I catch myself slipping into old habits, that’s my wake-up call to refocus and double down on my efforts. That’s when I remind myself that I am not defined by my past, but by how I show up today.
Rambo’s Takeaway:
Rambo smiled—a rare sight, but it was there. “Yeah, I’ve done that too. Spent too much time stuck in my head, reliving the old battles. But like you said, staying in the present is the key. When I focus on what I can control right now—whether it’s helping a neighbor or just taking care of myself—I stop living in the past and start living for today and my future. It’s simple, but powerful.”
Wrapping It Up: Two Warriors, One Mission
As our conversation continued, we both realized something important: we weren’t stuck in the past anymore. The shame, the guilt, the mistakes—none of that had to control us. We were mental health warriors, and we had learned to build our new selves on our entire story, not just the good parts.
“Well, Rambo,” I said with a grin, “looks like you’re not attacking the town today, but you’re still winning battles. And here a copy of my book “53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior” that will help you continue to triumph.” He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
As he headed for the checkout, Rambo turned back one more time. “Bruce,” he said, “next time you see me in town, no need to duck for cover. Just remind me about Mindset Rule 15 — ‘Build the New You on All of Your Story, Not Just the Good Stuff.’ It’s been working pretty well for me.”
And with that, we were off—grocery bags in hand, ready to face the next challenge with the strength of accepting our whole story to build the new us and leaving shame behind!
Bruce Schutter
Creator of Mental Health Warrior Program and Challenge Coin
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