Last weekend, I decided to try out a new deli in town, craving a good sandwich and a break from the daily grind. As I stepped inside, the aroma of freshly baked bread and stacks of pastrami instantly hit me. But that wasn't the most surprising part of my day. Sitting in the corner, devouring a massive sandwich, was none other than Tony Soprano, the larger-than-life character from the hit TV show The Sopranos.
Now, I'm not one to get starstruck, especially by someone with Tony's "business" background. But seeing him in person was a shock. Still, I wasn't about to interrupt his meal—especially with those intimidating "associates" of his nearby. So, I sat down, ready to enjoy my own sandwich, when Tony caught sight of my book that I had with me: “I Triumphed over Bipolar, Alcoholism, and Anxiety Disorders by Becoming a Mental Health Warrior.”
To my surprise, Tony leaned over and said, “That looks interesting.” That’s when I realized Tony was open to discussing mental health, which made sense, considering his own struggles throughout the series. And just like that, our conversation began.
The Approach: Mental Health Warrior Principle 6
As we started chatting, I opened up about one of my biggest struggles with Bipolar Disorder: the crushing weight of Depression.
"When it hits, it feels like there’s no way out," I said. "Every day becomes tougher than the last!"
Tony nodded, clearly resonating with my words. He had faced his own share of struggles. “So, what works for you?” he asked, genuinely curious.
I took a deep breath and told him my story—the 20 years I spent battling Bipolar, Alcoholism, Anxiety Disorders, and PTSD. For years, I felt completely powerless—like I was trapped at the bottom of a deep pit with no way out. The darkness consumed me so much that I even tried to end my life. But then, I got a second chance. And in that moment, I realized something life changing: mental health is the key to overcoming any challenge in life.
Based on my journey, I created the Mental Health Warrior Program—a new SELF-HELP approach designed to help people manage their emotions, conquer their challenges, and build the life they truly want.
I then leaned in and shared with Tony one of the most powerful strategies from my program—Warrior Principle 6: "Talking about your emotions is one of the most powerful and effective weapons for strengthening your mental health."
Tony seemed intrigued. So, I broke it down for him, sharing three key lessons on how I apply this approach.
Lesson 1: Talking is the Groundwork
"First," I said, "talking to family and friends about what you’re going through is crucial. When I’m in the depths of depression, just saying my thoughts out loud helps me start taking action. Otherwise, they stay locked inside, festering and pulling me deeper into despair."
Your Turn:
Open up about your feelings. Whether it’s to a close friend, a family member, or even your pet, verbalizing your emotions is the first step toward action. When emotions remain bottled up, they feed the cycle of depression, making it harder to break free.
Talking about your struggles gives you perspective and helps you see that you’re not alone. As the old saying goes, “What stays hidden in the shadows continues to grow in power.” Shine a light on your emotions—only then can you begin to take control.
Lesson 2: Take Action, Take Control
Tony listened carefully as I explained "This principle reminds me that I have power, even when depression strikes. It’s easy to feel powerless, but by using warrior tools like mindfulness, exercise, and talking, I can break free from depression’s grip and take back control of my day."
Tony’s eyes lit up at the mention of control. “I like being in control. And talking—though it’s new to me—turns out to be a powerful way to get it back,” he said with a smirk.
"Exactly," I replied. "When you feel depression creeping in, remember that you have the power to push back. It’s not about knocking it out like a heavyweight champ in one punch—think of it more like slowly outmaneuvering it in a game of chess… or, in your case, running a strategic operation."
Tony chuckled. "So, I just gotta outsmart it, huh? Like keeping the feds off my back?"
"Pretty much. Depression wants to be the boss, but you don’t have to let it call the shots."
Your Turn:
When you feel overwhelmed by depression, remind yourself that you have the warrior tools to push back—even if it’s just one small action at a time. Whether it’s engaging in a favorite activity, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking a walk at the end of the day to process your emotions, these small wins add up and help you reclaim control.
And hey, if all else fails, ask yourself: “What would Tony Soprano do?” (Well… minus the whacking people part!)
Lesson 3: Your Challenges Don’t Define You
Finally, I shared the third way to apply Warrior Principle 6: understanding that just because you have challenges doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong.
"It’s easy to feel like a failure when you’re struggling with something like bipolar disorder," I said. "But it’s not about failure—it’s about managing the cards you’ve been dealt. Depression isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s just part of the journey. And with the right warrior tools, you stay in charge—not your challenges."
Tony took a moment to think, then nodded in agreement. “I’ve been there,” he admitted. “And it’s true—knowing you have the power to overcome the challenges in your life, that’s powerful beyond measure.”
"Exactly," I said. "Today, my mental health challenges are just one part of my story, but they don’t define me. I own them, I manage them, and I keep moving forward. That’s the key: realizing that you’re not broken—you’re actually stronger than you think."
Your Turn:
Recognize that depression is not a reflection of your worth or capabilities. It’s a challenge, yes, but one that you can take back control of with the Warrior Mindset and tools.
Think of it like driving. You can’t control other drivers—some will cut you off, some will cruise at 10 miles under the speed limit in the fast lane (seriously, WHY?), but you CAN control how you respond. You control the music, the heat or AC, the snacks… and okay, maybe work on the road rage part.
Control comes when we focus on what we CAN control. And trust me, that’s a lot more power than we often realize!
A Shared Lesson in Mental Health
Our conversation might have seemed unlikely, but it was a powerful reminder that mental health struggles cross all boundaries, even those of tough guys like Tony Soprano. As we wrapped up our discussion, Tony surprised me by offering to cover my entire lunch bill. I wasn’t about to argue with the guy, so I graciously accepted.
But the real surprise came when Tony turned to his crew and said, “Listen up, fellas. We can all benefit from this warrior advice. It’s time to start talking about our emotions.”
Who would’ve thought? Tony Soprano, the man who ruled North Jersey with an iron fist, was now advocating for emotional honesty. And that, my friends, was the real victory of the day!
Conclusion: The Power of Conversation
As I left the deli, I felt a sense of pride and satisfaction—not just because Tony had picked up the tab (hey, who turns down a free lunch?), but because I had witnessed firsthand how talking about emotions and mental health can bridge the gap between even the most unlikely people.
Tony and I may have come from very different worlds, but we found common ground in our shared struggles and in the power of Warrior Principle 6: "Talking about your emotions is one of the most powerful and effective weapons for strengthening your mental health."
This principle is a core part of my book, I Triumphed Over Bipolar, Alcoholism, and Anxiety Disorder by Becoming a Mental Health Warrior, where I share the exact tools that helped me take control of my mental health. These aren’t just theories—they’re battle-tested strategies that helped me overcome 20 years of struggles.
So, the next time you feel weighed down by bipolar depression—or any depression—remember this:
You and Tony Soprano are Mental Health Warriors.
No matter what life throws your way, you have the power to push through—not by pretending everything is fine, but by opening up, having real conversations, and recognizing that you are not broken. You simply have challenges—and those challenges can make you stronger than you ever imagined… if you let them!
Bruce Schutter
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