The other day, I found myself at a cozy diner, the kind where the coffee is always hot, the pie is always fresh, and the regulars know each other by name. I was minding my own business, about to dig into my breakfast, when I heard a voice behind me asking to borrow the salt. I turned around, and to my surprise, it was none other than Gibbs from NCIS—Leroy Jethro Gibbs, the stoic, rule-bound leader of the Naval Criminal Investigative Service.
He looked a bit worn out, the kind of tiredness that comes from years of chasing criminals and solving cases that never seem to end. “This is a great diner,” he remarked, sprinkling salt on his eggs. “But man, I’m beat. The work never stops.”
I nodded in agreement, “You know, Gibbs, that sounds a lot like my daily battle with mental health. Living with Bipolar, Alcoholism, Anxiety Disorders, and PTSD is kind of like being on a constant case—always something to deal with, always a challenge to face.”
He gave me that classic Gibbs stare, the one that says he’s listening closely but doesn’t need to say much. So, I continued, “But here’s the thing, I don’t just let it wear me down. I’ve created the Mental Health Warrior Program, a self-help approach designed to help people, including myself, triumph over these challenges every day!
As part of the program, we’ve even got a book, “53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior”, that explains how Mindset Rules are powerful guidance on how to avoid problems and insights to help us triumph over challenges—kind of like your famous Gibbs’ rules.”
That caught his attention. “Rules, huh? What kind of rules?” “Well, for example, there’s Mindset Rule 11—Your failures can be your greatest lessons if you’re not afraid of them.” It’s about reframing failures as opportunities for course correction in your journey.” Gibbs nodded, intrigued, so I told him more about it. “When you remove the fear of failure, you can actually learn from your mistakes instead of letting them hold you back.”
He completely agreed and shared some of his own insights—three of them, in fact—about how this rule applied to his life and how it could apply to anyone’s journey as a Mental Health Warrior.
Gibbs’ Insight 1: Trust Your Instincts, Even When They Fail You
“Sometimes, I’ve trusted my gut and gotten it wrong,” Gibbs admitted. “But those mistakes taught me to refine my instincts, to trust them more precisely. Every misstep was a lesson in how to be better next time.”
He leaned back, reflecting on one case that still haunted him. “There was a time when I followed my gut about a suspect. I was convinced he was guilty—everything in my bones told me so. But I was wrong. We wasted critical time, and the real criminal almost got away. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it taught me something important. My instincts weren’t the problem—my execution was. Now, when my gut tells me something, I back it up with facts. It’s a balance.”
Your Turn:
When you make a decision that doesn’t pan out, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, reflect on what your instincts were telling you and how you can sharpen them for the future. Trust that with each mistake, you’re getting closer to the right call, just like Gibbs has done countless times.
Gibbs’ Insight 2: Use Your Team
Gibbs continued, “I’ve learned the hard way that going it alone doesn’t always work. My team’s got my back, and I’ve learned to rely on them, even when I’d rather do everything myself.”
He told me about a mission that nearly ended in disaster. “There was a time I didn’t trust my team enough. I went off on my own, trying to track down a lead, and ended up walking into an ambush. If McGee and Ziva hadn’t been monitoring me, I wouldn’t be here today. That day, I realized that it’s not weakness to lean on others. Sometimes, your team can see things you miss, and together, you get the job done.”
Your Turn:
In your own journey as a Mental Health Warrior, remember that you don’t have to do it all alone. Reach out to your support network—whether that’s friends, family, or even our “furry” friends (yes, our pets can be a confidant)—and lean on them when you need to. Just like Gibbs relies on his team, you can rely on yours to help you through tough times.
Gibbs’ Insight 3: Every Case Teaches You Something
“Even the cases that don’t go the way I want teach me something,” Gibbs said, finishing off his coffee. “Every failure, every success, it’s all part of becoming better at what I do.”
He smiled faintly, sharing a story from one of his most difficult cases. “We had this cold case. It haunted me for years. Every time I thought we were close, something would fall apart. At one point, I considered shelving it for good. But instead, I went back and re-examined every misstep, every dead end, and that’s when it clicked. What I had thought was a dead-end was actually a clue in disguise. That failure became the breakthrough we needed.”
Your Turn:
Think of your life as a series of cases. Not every day will go perfectly, but each one offers a lesson. Embrace those lessons, both big and small, and let them guide you as you navigate your mental health journey. Remember, it’s not about never failing—it’s about what you do after the failure that counts!
A Parting Gift And Advice
As we wrapped up our conversation, I handed Gibbs a copy of my book, "53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior." He looked genuinely interested, and I could tell he was going to take some time to go through it. “You know, Bruce,” he said with a rare smile, “I might just need to borrow more than the salt next time. These rules could come in handy.”
Chatting with Gibbs was an incredible reminder of how universal these lessons are. Whether you're a seasoned NCIS agent or someone facing mental health challenges, we’re all in this together, armed with the tools to triumph over whatever life throws our way. Gibbs may not have lent me his badge, but he reminded me that we’re all warriors in our own right.
So, the next time you face a setback, remember Mindset Rule 11—when we reframe failures as opportunities, we can triumph over life's challenges every day!
Bruce Schutter
(Creator of the Mental Health Warrior Program and Challenge Coin)
Comments