Stop Negative Thinking in Its Tracks: How Gibbs from NCIS uses Mindset Rule 6
- Bruce Schutter
- Apr 5
- 5 min read
It was one of those regular days, the kind where you’re just running an errand, expecting nothing out of the ordinary. I was strolling downtown to grab a coffee when I saw him—Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS. He was standing at the corner, looking deep in thought, like something heavy was on his mind. I almost did a double-take but stopped myself. In my line of work, you meet all sorts of people.
Gibbs caught my eye. Before I could say anything, he walked over, his familiar stern expression locking onto me. "Bruce," he said in that gruff tone, "I’ve been meaning to talk to you."
Now, when someone like Gibbs says that, you pause. "Sure thing, Gibbs. What’s on your mind?" I asked, half-wondering if this was about covert ops or if he just needed a break from catching bad guys.
His voice softened. "I’ve been working on some tough cases recently, and they’ve been getting in my head. Negative thoughts, doubts… It’s not like me, but it’s dragging me down.
I know you wrote that book, 53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior, and it’s packed with strategies to keep troubles at bay or get out of them. He paused, then added, "Lately, I could use some help keeping those negative thoughts from spiraling."
The Solution - Mindset Rule 6
Hearing Gibbs talk about negative thoughts reminded me of my own battles. I knew exactly where he was coming from.
"You’re in the right place, Gibbs," I said, smiling. "For 20 years, I struggled with Bipolar, Alcoholism, Anxiety Disorders, PTSD, and a host of everyday life challenges.
They piled on until the negative mindset became overwhelming—so much so that I felt powerless and even tried to end my life. But with a second chance and the lessons I learned along the way, I created the Mental Health Warrior Program—a new SELF-HELP approach to help people take charge of their emotions, triumph over challenges and build the life they really want!
A big part of the program is changing how we think—that’s why I wrote 53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior. These rules are designed to arm us for the battles life throws our way.
And one rule that’s been a game-changer for me is Mindset Rule 6: ‘Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing the Things You Know Now.’"
Gibbs nodded, his piercing blue eyes locked on mine. "I like the sound of that. Tell me more." I smiled, happy to share.
"It’s a simple but powerful rule. It’s about letting go of guilt, shame, and the endless self-criticism that comes from looking back and wishing you’d done something differently. Too often, we beat ourselves up for not handling things better—forgetting that we didn’t have the knowledge, experience, or tools we have today.
Forgiving yourself means recognizing that growth is a journey—not a one-time event."
Gibbs’s expression softened. "That’s a tough one—but it makes sense. How do you actually put it into practice?" I nodded. "Let me give you three examples of how I use it to stop negative thinking in its tracks."
Example 1: Don’t Let Past Missteps Downplay Today’s Success
"The first thing this rule does for me," I said, "is remind me not to let past missteps overshadow my success today. It’s easy to let last week’s screw-ups hijack how we feel about what we accomplish right now.
But Mindset Rule 6 helps me see my wins for what they are—without letting yesterday’s mistakes steal today’s thunder."
Gibbs’s Takeaway:
He rubbed his chin, thinking it over. "I get that. Just last week, we lost a lead on a case, and it’s been bugging me. Yesterday, we cracked it wide open—but all I could think about was that missed opportunity. I was beating myself up over something that didn’t even matter anymore."
I nodded. "Exactly. Focusing on yesterday’s misstep was robbing you of today’s win. And that’s the trap—we forget we’re not the same person we were then. Every win matters. Celebrate it."
Gibbs cracked a rare smile. "Alright. I’ll give today’s win the credit it deserves."
Example 2: Turn Missteps into Lessons for Today’s Wins
"Second," I continued, "this rule reminds me that today’s wins often come from yesterday’s missteps. When I look at the things I’m doing right now as a Mental Health Warrior, I know they’re built on lessons I learned the hard way. That’s the power of growth—I’m in charge now, not my challenges."
Gibbs’s Takeaway:
Gibbs crossed his arms and gave me a thoughtful nod. "I see. So instead of replaying what went wrong, I could focus on how it made me better. There’s always a takeaway—even in failure. Like that time we walked into an ambush. I tore myself up for missing the signs. But afterward, we changed how we run recon—and that adjustment has saved our team more than once."
"Exactly," I said. "That’s how warriors grow. We don’t ignore mistakes—we use them. Each one makes us sharper for the battles ahead."
Gibbs cracked a half-smile. "Learning is part of the job, huh?" "Every single day," I replied. "And that’s what makes us stronger."
Example 3: Focus on Taking Action Today
"And lastly," I said, "this rule keeps me grounded in the present. Depression usually sneaks in when I stop focusing on what I can do right now and start dwelling on everything I wish I’d done differently.
That’s when I pull out this mindset rule—it’s my mental reset button. It reminds me to ask, ‘What can I do today that moves me forward?’ If I’ve slacked off on my Mental Health Warrior tools, this is my wake-up call to get back on track."
Gibbs’s Takeaway:
For the first time in our conversation, Gibbs cracked a real grin. "That’s good. I’ve noticed it myself—when I let the past get in my head, I start slipping. I lose focus. But if I zero in on what’s in front of me, what I can actually control today, I stay sharp. I stay... me."
"You nailed it," I said. "That’s the power of action—it interrupts the spiral and brings us back to life. Depression doesn’t stand a chance when we’re actively living our mission. Even one small step forward puts us back in control."
He nodded slowly. "Alright... today, I choose action."
Wrap Up
Gibbs looked at me with that no-nonsense expression of his—the kind that says he’s really listening. "You’ve given me something solid to work with," he said. "I’ll have to get myself a copy of your book, 53 Mindset Rules of a Mental Health Warrior.
I’ve been letting my mind spin, but if I can remind myself of this rule—especially when the doubts creep in—it’ll stop me from going down that rabbit hole. I can forgive myself for what I didn’t know and focus on what I can do now. That’s real power."
We both stood, knowing it was time to get back to our respective battles. "Looks like it’s time to get back to it," I said with a nod. Gibbs smirked slightly. "You’re right. Let’s grab that coffee later this week. It’s good to talk with a fellow Mental Health Warrior. It reminds me that we’ve all got our battles—and we can win them!"
As he turned to leave, Gibbs added with a wry smile, "Oh, and Bruce, next time you catch me spiraling into negative thinking—just smack me upside the head."
I laughed, wondering if I’d ever actually have the nerve to follow through on that!
Instead, I promised, "I’ll remind you of the power of Mindset Rule 6: Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing the Things You Know Now. That’s how we move past negative thinking... and celebrate today’s victories!"
Bruce Schutter
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